very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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