even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
