Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
