Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
