I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
