'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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