I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
