quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't think brook has ever known best
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
