My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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