I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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