i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
