YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
