I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
