do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
