make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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