im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
