if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
