But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
