Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm just crazy horny about you
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
