you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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