yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
