They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
