I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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