go do what you do best...puke behind churches
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
