Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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