when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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