he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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