so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
