I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
