my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
