My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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