You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
