My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
