he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
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