There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
