I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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