I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
FUCK WHALES
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
