so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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