You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
