i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
