I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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