Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Are we still banned from the library?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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