so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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