You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
