when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
