You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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