i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
