He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
