We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
