I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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