just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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